that four letter word

LOVE

Love is a complete mystery, don't you think? I still don't know if I believe in love. I am young, but I am an observer. I see things people don't. I've felt feelings that have changed my life.

For the better.
And for the worse.

On one hand, love is beautiful. It's acceptance, charity, selflessness, willingness to give up your everything for that one person.

It's the sparkley eyes that I see in my grandparents, even after 50 years.

It's the pack of ice our neighbor gave my brother when he broke his wrist.

It's the cup of hot chocolate a friend gave me.

It's the text my best friend sent me because only she could see what a low point I was at.
It's giving your whole life to one person, because YOU LOVE THEM.

Then again...

The word is thrown around these days like it's no big deal. So that's how I'm going to perceive it. No big deal. Maybe not even real. Love is a joke. It's a lie; a nightmare.

How can someone be so selfless as to love someone? It's only human nature to put yourself before everyone else. That's what we were made to do; survive this life on our own. Then this whole L-O-V-E word was thrown in and messed up the whole routine.

It's just a word that boys use to get what they want.

It's a word that girls say just so they can hear it said right back to them.

It's an emotion that everyone learned from watching cheesy Disney movies, and have maybe never felt themselves.

I believe that every human being has wants and pleasures. I believe in LUST.

But love?

Sure. Maybe love exists. But as for me, I think love is a lie.

The only love I've ever felt was a lie.

And that hurt.

Like hell.

I'll take some time, and a real special person, before I really believe in that four letter word.